One of the best techniques I’ve learned for improving any relationship is the List of Positive Aspects by Abraham-Hicks. It goes something like this: When you are having difficulty with someone, get out a notebook and label it My List of Positive Aspects. At the top of the page, write the name of the person at the top. Now, thinking back over a time or times when you felt something positive about this person, list every positive aspect you can think of about that person. Only write the positive and then sit with it for some moments. Feel that positive energy about this person. When you think again about this person, remember your list. When you do this, people “miraculously” change when they are in your presence, only demonstrating those positive aspects you’ve focused on.
I have used this technique over and over again, with great success. Sometimes it can be a challenge to even start the list, but when you do and practice it, you will end up adding to the list of positive qualities about that person. Eventually, your list about that person will be so long that you no longer need to refer to it as everytime you think about that person, you will hold him or her in that good feeling place.
Even though you’re not feeling it right now, there is always something positive about that person. If you can’t get the feeling right away, focus on something positive about their physical appearance to start. For example, do they have nice hair? Do they have nice eyes? Or perhaps they have a particular skill that you admire, such as excellent editing, beautiful singing voice, or a great dancer. Just write something positive and focus on that.
Today as I’m reminded of interactions that could be challenging, I am grateful that I have a technique like this to shift that from a challenge to no challenge at all. When I am doing so, I know that I am holding them in a place of love and love really does make my world go round!
Even though last night we all got an extra hour of sleep here in the United States because we turned back our clocks before going to bed, I ended up oversleeping this morning. I had asked the hotel where I’m staying for a conference for a “wake-up” call that never happened. Consequently, I woke up later (to the tune of my “back-up” plan on my Blackberry phone a half an hour later), and wondered what time it really was. When I realized that I never received the wake-up call and had overslept, I had a choice to make: either feel flustered, frustrated and upset that I was now running late (or) appreciate the extra time I really did have to rest. As you probably imagine based on my overall theme for this blog, I’ve chosen the latter.
We are all faced with many small choices like this everyday. Happiness is truly a choice we make, and it starts with these little things that happen in our daily lives. We always have the choice to see the glass as half-full, rather than half-empty. In doing so, we align ourselves a bit closer to being happy most of the time.
So this morning, I’m grateful for the extra rest. I’m happy that no one really cared about the fact that I was late, and it wouldn’t really matter if they did anyway, as that is their issue. My job is to be happy and I’m in charge of that by myself. If I judge my happiness on what other people think, I will be disappointed. If I judge my happiness on how punctually I get up in the morning, then I’ll be judging myself a lot and that would not be a kind, loving way to treat myself. If I blame the hotel for not setting the wake-up call, I’m going to be attracting that energy back to myself. So I’m giving myself a break, as well as the hotel for not setting the “wake-up” call when I requested. I’m going to appreciate instead!
By being late, I met two really nice people this morning at breakfast. In being late, I ran into a colleague as I was coming out of my room. It sure was good to see her smiling face this morning! The extra sleep was great for my overall well-being and will prepare me for the next two days when I may not get as much sleep. I appreciate my Blackberry alarm that served as my “back-up,” too. I love how I got an inspiration to write about this here, too. So I’m choosing to be happy. Isn’t that a good way to start the day?